Heavenly Father, I’ve been thinking. Pondering things in my heart.
I remember back to Youth Group as a teenager. I remember how others were so excited over hearing that you loved them. That Jesus died for them. I remember their energy of being a new believer.
By then, I’d been a believer for over a decade. Excitement had changed to thankfulness, contentment, commitment. But, I felt like I was missing something in not being overtly happy all the time. Not being a Jesus Freak – after all, it was the 60s and 70s. I was just a quiet girl who went to church, studied her Bible, and believed in You.
I still feel that way sometimes. All the books and songs that encourage me to ‘fall in love with Jesus’ make me wonder what is wrong with me. I don’t have that excitement. I don’t have stars in my eyes. Much of the time, I have tears in my eyes. I don’t shout ‘Hallelujah’ or raise my hands.
I stand there quietly. Thankful. Content. Believing.
I struggle with trying to understand how I can love you with all my heart, with all my mind, and with all my strength.
Then I read John 14:15 again. “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” I realized that proof that I love You doesn’t come from my feelings. It comes from my obedience.
I have studied Your Word and I know your commandments. I know how each of them has been a struggle in my life. I know when I have chosen to obey You – saying ‘No’ to what I desired. And I know when I have failed.
I love you, Father. Give me the strength to continue to show You my love through obedience. Let me love still more.
“Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more.” I Thessalonians 4:1